Perl Power Tools v0.14: Tom's PPT Poem
This was found in ancient LWN archives, nearly lost!
From: Tom Christiansen <email@example.com>
Subject: In Mountain View did Larry Wall
Date: 26 Jun 1999 16:45:41 -0700
In Mountain View did Larry Wall
Sedately launch a quiet plea:
That DOS, the ancient system, shall
On boxes pleasureless to all
Run Perl though lack they C.
His acolytes he gathered round
And led where tools were never found
Save but for those made dear by Bill's
Unkind--nay, cruel!--per-user fee
And visual glitz chock full of frills;
They barely worked, and were not free.
But now foul wretched pain was fast supplanted
With bright new Perl-wrought tools at last to cover
That savage place of which we long had ranted
Though some beneath a waning moon had chanted
To summon forth their sendmail-demon lover!
And in this place, long fleeced by Redmond's scheming
As if the hackers' gods were lost in dreaming
An honored program, great and open-sourced,
Which Unix hackers had long ago endorsed
Cruel schackles shattered, freeing from the jail
Where prisoners chafed beneath the Windows' flail.
Despite these joys, we paused and looked to see
Lone Larry muttering low but plaintively
He raised his arms to calm the frenzied motion
Of heartless hackers cursing systems small
That ran these boxes pleasureless to all
For struck was Larry with another notion:
'Twas not enough to bring Perl to this shore
His quiet voice he raised to ask for MORE!
This land was lacking still the pleasure
That comes from using simple glue
To join together native treasure,
And integrate COM objects, too.
Then came a miracle of rare device,
An Active Perl to lend its flair and spice
To friends trapped far from Paradise.
In a vision once I saw:
It was a Wisconsinian maid,
And with Perl Power Tools she played
Stringing puissant pipes together
Deftly weaving webs of power
Fingers dancing like a feather
Till in me deep delight did flower.
For her my time I'd sacrifice:
I built myself a tool so fair
'Twould run on Bill's or Steve's device,
That she might know me if I dare.
My friends cry out: Beware! Beware!
Her singeing sighs, her stinging stare!
She knows me not, mistrusting vice.
My words of Unix bring her dread,
But I shall sooth her fears instead
And drink the milk of Paradise.
Just don't compare it with a real language, or you'll be unhappy... :-)
--Larry Wall in <1992May12.firstname.lastname@example.org>